Ange in BusyNess
by The Queen Of Mischief
Summary: Booth and Brennan are so obviously in love, but they're both completely oblivious! Does Angela have to handle EVERYTHING around here? Busy, busy, busy. A new one in my series of Bones oneshots. R&R! Enjoy!


**Chapter 1**

"Ange!" came Dr. Brennan's voice, somewhat impatient.

"Yes?" she replied.

"I need you to give our victim a face. We have nothing substantial to go on so far."

"Got it. Hey, Brennan, is something bothering you?" Normally Brennan was never this impatient and tired-looking.

"No, Ange, nothing. I really need that face." The hint-dropping could not have gotten any less subtle.

"Fine," said Angela, with a small smile. "Be a bitch, why don't you."

Brennan stared at her for a moment, and a tiny grin broke out. "Very funny, Angela."

"Dr. Brennan," came Zack's voice. "I've found some abnormalities in the victim's patella, suggesting strenuous activity before her death, or possibly, throughout the span of her life. The nature of the abnormalities suggests body building."

"So she was a body builder in her mid twenties from Washington. Shouldn't be hard to find."

There was a brief pause. Zack asked uncertainly "Was that sarcasm?"

Brennan rolled her eyes. "Yes, Zackaroni, it was sarcasm."

He nodded, and went off.

"That kid is sad."

"I think he's cute." Said Brennan only to have Angela's jaw drop. Did she mean…_cute_, cute? Or just cute?

"I didn't mean _that_ cute, I meant, cuddly cute."

"Good, because the only person you're allowed to get together with is Booth."

"What?"

Good lord, did the woman not notice it? Booth was completely in love with her! And she was in love with him!

"_What_?" asked Brennan. Oops, she hadn't meant to say that out loud. She was going to do it more geenttly…

"Well, you know it's true!"

"It is not!"

"Is so. It's why you're so stressed and all."

"But even if it were true, which I'm not saying it is, how is it even relevant here? Why would I be feeling stressed if I am in love? It doesn't make sense. It isn't supposed to feel like that."

"You're feeling the pangs of love, Brennan."

"The what of _what_?"

"Pangs of love. You have this constant urge to be perfect so you look nice in front of him." said Angela smoothly as if it were like 'duh'.

"I am not in love with-" just then, Cam walked in.

"In love with who?" she demanded, curiously.

"No one, no one at all." they chirped, the picture of innocence. If anything, they shouldn't tell _Cam_ about the whole Booth Brennan thing, thought Ange. That would be dumb.

For one, she was their boss. For another, everyone knew she had been involved with Booth, and that it hadn't ended well. Twice. For the third thing, she was their boss and finding out that they were talking about her ex-lover getting together with Brennan, would not make her very happy.

Guaranteed unemployment. Well, Cam wasn't _really_ like that, they knew, but still. Why make their boss not like them? Why not let her go on innocently? Ignorance really is bliss. For both parties involved.

However, they soon found out that Cam was as innocent as a child who's walked in on her parents role playing as Catwoman and Batman. With leather whip and all, which Angela had once caught her parents doing. "It's about Brennan and Booth getting together, isn't it? They are so in love."

Angela shrugged. Eh, why not. More girls, more fun. Whoever said too many cooks spoil the broth should be locked up. Too many cooks just spice_ up_ the broth.

"Yeah, we're talking about that." Said Angela bluntly, much to Brennan's chagrin.

To their surprise, Cam did something no one had ever seen her do before. It was insane, and impossible. The earth may have started trembling, and weather forcasters consulted their books to see if any hurricanes and/or earthquakes were expected that day. The Devil saw snow for the first time in his fiery realm of hell.

Camille. Saroyan.

Squealed.

This was followed by a brief silence during which Cam appeared to have realized the consequences of what she had just done. "If. You tell ANYONE. That I just. DID that. I will. Fire your sorry asses to oblivion."

They nodded. They had an accord. Then Cam, knowing that they had their privacy, squealed again. "That is so adorable! I just know you two belong together!! You have to go on a date. Oh, and I want ALL the details once you come back. Are you gonna have sex the first time? I think you should. Do it at the back of his car. It's really nice back there. I speak from experience."

Angela smirked. They had never seen this side to Cam before. Brennan looked fascinated. "Wow, really? How was it? Is he any good? What about his genitals? Are they Sully type, or bigger? Peanuts or grapefruit?"

"It was amazing! They are huge. And I mean _huge._"

Angela threw up her hands in disgust. "Too much info."

Brennan looked more interested still. "Brennan, go find out for yourself. And if you HAVE to ask, can you do it while I'm not here?" with that, she walked out of the room in a brief silence, after which Brennan resumed her interrogation about the size of Special Agent Seeley Booth's genitals. Cam seemed only too happy to comply.

She needed to talk to Booth, convince him to ask Brennan out. But how could she even look at him now without seeing two, well, three, THINGS in his pants. Big things. EW.

--

"Hey Booth, can I talk to you?"

Booth shrugged and nodded. Angela was the sanest and most human of all the squints. He'd just had a horrific conversation with Zack about women. The kid was _clueless_. It was almost sad. He knew EVERYTHING about females and their anatomy, but nothing about them as humans.

Sad, sad.

"What is it, Ange?"

"See, I was just wondering…if you'd like to…you know…" dear Lord, was she going to ask him out? Nu uh, that was NOT gonna happen. How would he ever face Hodgins?

"ASK BRENNAN OUT, BOOTH."

"_What_? Bones? You're nuts."

"Ask her out." Insisted Angela. She was Brennan's best friend. She had to do this. She HAD to. It was what best friends were for, for crying out loud!

"It's not that easy." He said sounding uncomfortable, beginning to regret having agreed to talk to Angela now.

"She likes you, and you like her, what could be more simple?" it was so stupid. A blind and deaf monkey could do it.

"I…what if she says no?"

"She won't." said Angela with a comforting, friendly, encouraging and sympathetic smile. She hoped.

"But…"

Angela sighed. Was her work never done? She was always so busy managing the lives of her friends, what with the Zackaroni make-over, and making Hodgins more civil. Now she had to get Booth and Brennan together?

Being her sure wasn't easy.

"No buts, Booth. The only butt I want to see, is yours, going over to Brennan's and asking her out. Got it?" No more Glenda the Good Witch. Now it was time for the evil stepmother to come out.

"Oh BRENNAN?!" she singsonged, and evil smile on her face, to Booth's horror. He mouthed "No, no, no!"

Brennan came out and the moment she saw Booth she turned red. Oh, she had been thinking dirty and naughty stuff. It was time for her to pay.

She noticed with an internal roll of her eyes how Brennan's eyes unwillingly and unconsciously darted down every now and then, for a fraction of a second. "What is it, Booth?"

"Um, well, see, the thing is…uh, your hair looks nice." stammered and stalled. Idiot.

She looked very surprised. "Um, thanks. I guess."

Angela rolled her eyes. Would she have to do everything around here?


End file.
